Writing My Prescription for Healing-Day 2

Today I took a first step toward trusting my God-given instincts again.

For a while now, I've purposely refused to acknowledge them; bitter at myself for ignoring and neglecting them when they 'spoke' to me as I was considering marriage to my ex-husband. If I was TRULY honest with myself, I'd say he was probably going through the same thing too. I'm able to admit that in my desperation to believe I was hearing from God regarding marriage, I silenced the very instincts and Voice He has given me. I've been mad and bitter at none...other...than...ME.

So today, I forgive myself and I free myself from the bondage of past neglects and ignorance. I'm giving myself permission and freedom to trust again; not trust Estéfani, but trust the Voice God has placed within me that says "this is the Way, walk in it." Yes, it's a still small voice most times, but I know it, and now I choose to trust it's wisdom, its guidance and its never-failing protection in my life. This prescriptive revelation was good medicine to my heart and soul today. I hope it blesses you too.

Love,
Estéfani

My Journey-Full Figure Modeling (FFM) Tip #6

NO Irene Cara "Fame" photoshoots allowed! No decent, PROFESSIONAL photographer should be asking you to do anything that would compromise your personal morals or values. It IS possible to work in areas of this industry in which you are comfortable. Command the type of attention you desire by being a woman, a Queen mind you, of genuine integrity and watch your career flourish! Anything less and you can expect Lil Jon to ring you any moment now for his next video...Bow and Courtsey now ladies, you're a Queen! ;-)

My Journey-Full Figure Modeling (FFM) Tip #5

Stand out from the crowd by creating a 'stage' name! Whether modeling, acting, singing, dancing, etc., you've got to stand out. Work your hustle ladies! My niche is petite (5'5") full-figure (size 14) ethnic mix (M.U.T. or Make U Think), so I've spun a portion of a part of my cultural mix into my 'stage' name, Estéfani. Madonna, Prince, Frenchie, Borat-they've all made it work. Why not me? Be creative with it and good luck!....oh and HAVE FUN!

My Journey-Full Figure Modeling (FFM) Tip #4

Tone, tone, tone thick ladies! Plus-size & full-figure (size 12+) does NOT mean unhealthy, unfit or out-of-shape. Being thick & toned is a REQUIREMENT in the industry. So, before you celebrate that you can hit the nearest Coldstone Creamery w/out guilt (telling on myself!), just remember: ab crunches, thigh lifts, squats & push-ups are all easy home-based toning tricks you'll STILL need 2 do, even as a FFM! TTFN...:-)

Writing My Prescription for Healing-Day 1

Queen-Size Me™ is the product of a long, on-going journey towards healing of my heart, soul, mind and body. You and I both know that healing truly IS a journey; it's not something that you can simply put a bandage over (although, as superwomen with never-ending responsibilities, we try to do this very thing!) and expect it to magically disappear. No, there is a process; a formula (albiet an ever-changing formula depending on the individual) that one must consciously embark upon in order to arrive at that blessed destination...that place where you see the light at the other end of the tunnel.

That light at the other end of the tunnel eludes me...it is ever-present in my view, yet I often feel as if I'm viewing it from a slow-moving passenger train going in the opposite direction! I'm sure you can imagine how frustrating this is, day-after-day. My tunnel is separation that eventually led to an un-wanted divorce. I've processed the initial surface feelings of no longer 'feeling' that romantic love for my ex-husband, but I've not fully peeled back the layers and resolved the deeper emotional issues that are lying underneath the surface; those layers that need to be healed before a new foundation can be laid upon which to build again...and build stronger. Yet, I continue to hold on to hope in the midst of my busy days, working and commuting endless hours without making my healing a priority. Today, that postponement ceases.

I have unofficially, and without disrepect to the medical industry, 'dubbed' myself 'Dr. Estéfani'. I am going to dig deep, draw on my faith and try to milk out some wisdom by writing my way to healing, one day at a time...in essence, I am 'writing' my prescription for healing, with 'writing' being the actual means to the end. There will be ups, there will be downs. I will write something to which you can relate, something that may cause you to identify an area in your OWN life that needs a little salt...a little honey...a little TLC. I will write things that may upset or anger you, where only YOU can identify 'why?' Yet in the end-as a part of this refining process-we will shine as the queenly crowns that we are and that we were created to be. Only then will we be seen AND identified as queens by kings (another post on this topic of 'kings' will come soon)...

Some of you may walk away with a career in Full-Figure Modeling/Plus Size Modeling; some may embrace a new style of music; some may discover an amazing new way towards fitness and healthy eating; some of you will have restored marriages, or can peacefully accept divorce; some of you will apply the principles here to your overall relationships with friends and family; some of you will become great friends; others will take this info for what it is and move on. Whatever your experience is with Queen-Size Me™, my hope and my prayer is that you pass the Light and wisdom on to someone else...we are truly blessed so that we can be a blessing to others...let us not take this process lightly. It is the next chapter in our 'herstory'...welcome Queens...

Love,
Estéfani

My Journey-Full Figure Modeling (FFM) Tip #3

Stay informed and abreast of all information, networking opportunities and keys to success in this industry by READING! Here is a link to a great informational guide from Daily Venus Diva. Enjoy!

My Journey-Full-Figure Modeling (FFM) Tip #2

Know your niche. Now, I'm a 'proper shorty' at 5'4", I'm not going to be tromping the catwalk or gracing the cover of Vogue. But, there are plenty of Print, Fit, and Commercial opps for someone with my niche. Identify your niche (ethnic mix, sporty, unique hair, etc.) then work it! Don't let the 'norm' hold you back.

My Journey into the World of Petite (5'4") Full-Figure (size 12+) Modeling at "Over 30"

Full-Figure Modeling (FFM) Tip #1: A nice example of an online portfolio for a full-figure model is attached. Whether you are a size 12 (considered full-figure using traditional modeling standards) or a size 22, I'm learning the portfolio (hard copy and online version) are key. Spend the money for a great, professional photographer (your cousin Jerome who takes photos at the "Hot Tuna", weddings and Na-Na's baby showers [yes, plural] is not who you want!) It's worth the investment. Visit Melissa's website at:

http://www.melissaking.com